The more I have

I love life, and the more I have . . . the more I want!!!

Over the past twenty-five years my personal life has exploded from a wonderfully liberated, but monogamous, marriage . . . into an amazing decade of occasional lovers, experiencing a full “swinging” and open-marriage lifestyle . . . and . . . most recently, discovering, exploring and enjoying a truly wonderful journey into the world of BDSM and developing the female-dominatrix** side of my personality.

My husband and I have always enjoyed a wonderfully loving, open and sexually adventurous relationship. We tried most things together and regularly enjoyed evenings of sexual play and fun. Our love for each other was complete and never in question.

And yet, I still strayed. Un-expected, un-planned . . . something I never thought I (of all people) would, or could, ever do. And yet it happened. Lunchtime coffees with a work colleague, turned into evening meals, turned into . . .

Someone else liked me! Wanted me! Aroused me! Excited me! I couldn’t help myself . . . even the complete feelings of guilt and shame in the aftermath, couldn’t stop me. I enjoyed it, I wanted it, I needed it.

My husband insists he suspected / knew right from the start . . . but for several months said nothing. Our own sex (after my “meetings”) was passionate and more fulfilling than ever. And with pangs of guilt the next morning, I would tell myself I would stop my affair, I didn’t need it, it was wrong, it was immoral.

But I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t refuse, I couldn’t deny it . . .

. . . just as I couldn’t deny it the day my husband confronted me with that “are you having an affair” question!!!

I thought it would shatter our world. I thought it would be the end of our marriage, that we’d have an explosive argument, floods of tears and abuse. But INSTEAD my husband told me he LOVED it . . . he LOVED the fact that I could experience the excitement and thrills of sexual adventure and pleasure with another man.

That day changed our lives . . . it made us each better people . . . and it made our relationship EVEN stronger and more loving and more fulfilling than either of us could ever have imagined.

That day was over 25 years ago!!! The different months and years (and yes different lovers) since have been a wonderful and incredible adventure . . . and new chapters continue to open before us.

I hope this blog may not only be a diary, a record, of some of the events and wonderful adventures we have experienced . . . but ALSO serve as an inspiration for people to understand that to express one-self, to completely open-up and admit all those inner sexual desires and emotions and fantasies . . . is not only a simple, basic part of your human nature, it is also your basic human right !!!

The names within the pages of my published Diaries, and throughout my blog-posts here, have all been changed (or given numbers) to protect the “not-so-innocent”.

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**You can join me in my BDSM adventure at my “Mistress Modesty” pages >here<.